How should wives and husbands treat each other? (v5-11)
Biblical teaching regarding church order goes hand in hand with its teaching regarding family order. Indeed the instructions for one often interrelate with instructions for the other.
One finds a similar tension in biblical teachings on family order that occurs in the doctrines of salvation and the church. Passages teaching the equality of women, reveal an important principle: in their standing before God and with each other, men and women are equal in several ways. First, they have equal value as persons (Gal. 3:28). Next, men and women have equal responsibility to communicate intimately in marriage relationships. This is seen in God’s plan that marriage is to be a companionship of equals (Gen. 2:24). It is never biblically warranted for either the man or the woman to depreciate the social, intellectual, physical, or spiritual companionship of a spouse. Finally, the Bible affirms the equal responsibility of men and women in propagating life (Gen. 1:28).
On the other hand, the Scriptures teach a hierarchy of responsibilities. The wife is to submit to her husband (Eph. 5:22). Some insist the introductory words “submitting yourselves to one another” (Eph. 5:21) somehow tempers the command for wives to submit, but the explicit teaching of the passage is that wives are to submit; husbands are to love. This interpretation is confirmed by the clear parallel passage in Colossians (3:18), and the teaching of Peter (1 Peter 3:1), where submission is specifically commanded of the wife. The Greek term used for submission (hypotasso) suggests a voluntary submission based on a commitment to proper order. It does not imply an organization based on inability or inferiority. Indeed, this term seems to have been chosen by Paul to honor the unique value of the wife. In a beautiful tension, he affirms both value and order, both equality and subordination. (Richard R. Melick, Jr., Ph.D. May 1998)
How should children and parents treat each other?
- Children should obey parents
- Because it pleases God
- It is a commandment
- With a promise
- Parents should not provoke (aggravate, antagonize, exasperate, irritate or vex) children
- So they won’t be discouraged
- Parents should nurture children in discipline and instruction of the Lord
How should employees (servants) and employers (masters) treat each other?
- Employees obey in all things
- Even when no one is looking
- Fearing God
- Work heartily, like as if working for the Lord
- Masters
- Should be just and equal
- Knowing that we also have a Master in heaven
How should we as Christians treat everyone in general?
- Walk in wisdom
- Speaking with grace
- Seasoned with salt
- Knowing how we ought to respond to each one
Conclusion
- Walk in wisdom
- Speak with grace
- Work heartily, as for the Lord
Passage Colossians 3:18-4:6 – World English Bible (WEB)
18 Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter[a] against them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers, don’t provoke[b] your children, so that they won’t be discouraged.
22 Servants, obey in all things those who are your masters according to the flesh, not just when they are looking, as men pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God. 23 And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. 25 But he who does wrong will receive again for the wrong that he has done, and there is no partiality.
4 Masters, give to your servants that which is just and equal, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
2 Continue steadfastly in prayer, watching in it with thanksgiving, 3 praying together for us also, that God may open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in bonds, 4 that I may reveal it as I ought to speak. 5 Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. 6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
Footnotes
- Harsh
- Aggravate, antagonize, exasperate, irritate, vex
Notes / Cross references:
Ephesians 5:22-25 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. 24 But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;
1 Peter 3:7 You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as also being joint heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: 3 “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.”
4 You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as Yahweh your God commanded you; that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.
Ephesians 6:5-9 5 Servants, be obedient to those who according to the flesh are your masters, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as to Christ, 6 not in the way of service only when eyes are on you, as men pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 with good will doing service as to the Lord, and not to men, 8 knowing that whatever good thing each one does, he will receive the same good again from the Lord, whether he is bound or free.
9 You masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with him.
